Home Improvement
When Sheila and I moved into our apartment last summer, it seemed pretty perfect...especially compared to some of the really scary places we'd looked at. We moved in, and everything was hunky dory for, oh, something like 2 weeks. Then we started realizing all the little things that bugged us.
Take this, for example:
Looks like a perfectly respectable kitchen, right? Well, until you add in a microwave, a coffee maker, a toaster, the mother of all spice racks and some drying pans. See the problem here? Practically no counter space.
However, being rather ingenious people (after several cups of coffee, anyway), we saw a need and decided we could fill it. Of course, we procrastinated a bit, but last week we decided was finally the time to start on a bit of around the house Do It Yourself. Sheila and I contemplated the space in the kitchen, and formulated A PLAN. Luckily, the apartment we live in allows us to drill "a reasonable number" of holes in the wall, so we got to work.
First step, measure areas in need of improvement. Check.
Second step, buy shelves. Check.
Third step, install shelves. (??? -> Profit! Wait, no...that's a different story) Wait, there appears to be a problem. The instructions say "Drill a hole. Do not punch." We looked at our screwdriver, the wall, and the instructions. We did not own a drill. Neither did anyone else we knew.
Ok, third step, buy a drill. Sheila and I set out for an evening of drill shopping and looking at bridesmaids dress colors at the mall. Side trip for burgers at Burger King. We walked confidently into Lowe's Hardware and made a beeline for the drill section. Found our drill, purchased it and a set of appropriately sized drill bits and were on our way. We were a little disappointed that nobody asked to assist us or whether it might be better for our boyfriends to buy the big scary tools, but we decided that it was probably our confident, knowledgeable air that stopped them. We then proceeded to spend too long at the mall and craft store to make it home by a reasonable drilling hour in an apartment complex, so we put our finds on the table and went to bed so as not to disturb the neighbors.
Next day, fourth step, install shelves. Hm, the tape on the drill box was already open, but whatever, carry on. But...wait. The instructions say that the drill should twist here, and that should loosen the place we need to put the drill bit. It's not turning. "Wait, let ME see the instructions. Nope, that's what they say. Try again..." *mutter mutter, much twisting of drill that is not budging* Ok, fine. Maybe our hands are too small. Matt! Try this! Hm, you can't do it either? Well, we all have college degrees, we all read the instructions thoroughly...this isn't working. CLEARLY, it is the drill, not us.
Fourth step, go back to hardware store to exchange drill. Explain to man at exchange counter that the drill was previously opened, and furthermore does not twist where the diagram says it should twist. (Large, beefy) man at exchange counter raises an eyebrow, opens the drill box, and proceeds to twist the stuck drill part with what looks to be the side of his little finger. Looks at us, looks at drill, scans drill for exchange and hands us the receipt without question. We sheepishly went and selected a new drill off the shelf, paid, checked the much more functional drill in the car (THIS one we were able to operate on the first try without exertion) and went home. Once again, too late for drilling without disturbing the neighbors.
Step five, install shelves. When I got home from work today, I said to myself, "Self: those shelves are GOING UP today." I measured, checked instructions, mesured, checked instructions...damn. The instructions say "drill a 1/4" hole." Our biggest drill bit is a bit smaller than that. I think about the drive to the hardware store, and look at the drill bit. Then, I settle on wiggling the drill around just a bit after drilling the initial hole to widen it. From then on out, things proceeded rather normally, aside from the usually extremely loud neighbors upstairs who took exception to my hanging shelves and stomped on the floor while yelling obscenities every time I hammered in a nail.
Step six, stand back and admire self-installed ingenious drying rack that not only frees up counter space, but also lets dishes drip directly into the sink.
While I was drilling and all, I also installed our mail sorting box in the kitchen so we can reclaim the table space it used to use up:
Take this, for example:
Looks like a perfectly respectable kitchen, right? Well, until you add in a microwave, a coffee maker, a toaster, the mother of all spice racks and some drying pans. See the problem here? Practically no counter space.
However, being rather ingenious people (after several cups of coffee, anyway), we saw a need and decided we could fill it. Of course, we procrastinated a bit, but last week we decided was finally the time to start on a bit of around the house Do It Yourself. Sheila and I contemplated the space in the kitchen, and formulated A PLAN. Luckily, the apartment we live in allows us to drill "a reasonable number" of holes in the wall, so we got to work.
First step, measure areas in need of improvement. Check.
Second step, buy shelves. Check.
Third step, install shelves. (??? -> Profit! Wait, no...that's a different story) Wait, there appears to be a problem. The instructions say "Drill a hole. Do not punch." We looked at our screwdriver, the wall, and the instructions. We did not own a drill. Neither did anyone else we knew.
Ok, third step, buy a drill. Sheila and I set out for an evening of drill shopping and looking at bridesmaids dress colors at the mall. Side trip for burgers at Burger King. We walked confidently into Lowe's Hardware and made a beeline for the drill section. Found our drill, purchased it and a set of appropriately sized drill bits and were on our way. We were a little disappointed that nobody asked to assist us or whether it might be better for our boyfriends to buy the big scary tools, but we decided that it was probably our confident, knowledgeable air that stopped them. We then proceeded to spend too long at the mall and craft store to make it home by a reasonable drilling hour in an apartment complex, so we put our finds on the table and went to bed so as not to disturb the neighbors.
Next day, fourth step, install shelves. Hm, the tape on the drill box was already open, but whatever, carry on. But...wait. The instructions say that the drill should twist here, and that should loosen the place we need to put the drill bit. It's not turning. "Wait, let ME see the instructions. Nope, that's what they say. Try again..." *mutter mutter, much twisting of drill that is not budging* Ok, fine. Maybe our hands are too small. Matt! Try this! Hm, you can't do it either? Well, we all have college degrees, we all read the instructions thoroughly...this isn't working. CLEARLY, it is the drill, not us.
Fourth step, go back to hardware store to exchange drill. Explain to man at exchange counter that the drill was previously opened, and furthermore does not twist where the diagram says it should twist. (Large, beefy) man at exchange counter raises an eyebrow, opens the drill box, and proceeds to twist the stuck drill part with what looks to be the side of his little finger. Looks at us, looks at drill, scans drill for exchange and hands us the receipt without question. We sheepishly went and selected a new drill off the shelf, paid, checked the much more functional drill in the car (THIS one we were able to operate on the first try without exertion) and went home. Once again, too late for drilling without disturbing the neighbors.
Step five, install shelves. When I got home from work today, I said to myself, "Self: those shelves are GOING UP today."
Step six, stand back and admire self-installed ingenious drying rack that not only frees up counter space, but also lets dishes drip directly into the sink.
While I was drilling and all, I also installed our mail sorting box in the kitchen so we can reclaim the table space it used to use up:
posted by Liz at 11:00 PM
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